


It's the Mess That Feels So Right

by romanticalgirl



Category: Bandom, Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Closeted Character, Gratuitous Pete Wentz, Jealousy, M/M, Summer of Like, bandom au - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-24 20:46:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17107838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romanticalgirl/pseuds/romanticalgirl
Summary: It's the summer of 2005. The summer of Warped. The Summer of Like.Bucky Barnes and his band are old pros at the touring circuit. Steve Rogers and his band are new on the scene. Bucky takes it upon himself to show Steve the ropes, for reasons he doesn't want to admit. Or think about really. But Steve Rogers has a way of getting under Bucky's skin.It's the summer of too many feelings. It's the summer where anything can happen.Including saving someone from Pete Wentz.





	It's the Mess That Feels So Right

**Author's Note:**

> For all my amazing Bandom friends - some who have joined me in the MCU and some who haven't. Music saves lives. You guys saved mine.
> 
> ***

Bucky blinked as he stepped off the bus. Bright sunlight didn’t mix with the hangover that made his head feel like it was three sizes too small and his eyes were made of sand. He shaded his eyes with his hand and groaned.

“Whose idea was it for us to do fucking Warped Tour? Rock and roll does not mix with sunlight and heat.” He grabbed a beer out of the cooler that was just at the base of the bus door and cracked it open. “It is supposed to be about dark clubs, drugs, girls in tight dresses, and hello there.”

Natasha rolled her eyes at him. “You are a dog, Barnes. She’s a tech. She has better taste than to sleep with you.”

“I don’t want her to sleep.” Bucky took a long drink of his beer. “I would very much like her to do other things, but sleep is definitely not on the list.”

“You’re a horrible person. I hope you know that.”

“If I didn’t, I have you to constantly remind me.” He sat on one of the lawn chairs and leaned back, kicking his legs up onto the arm of Natasha’s chair. She shoved his boots away, but he kept them on the very end, giving her a lazy smile. “When are we on today?”

“Main stage at seven. Don’t worry. It’ll still be light enough for you to see all your adoring fans, none of whom are of legal age for you to bring back to the bus without the threat of a statutory rape charge.”

“You think so little of me.”

“I think exactly what someone who’s known you your entire life would think. It’s not my fault that it is what it is.”

“And here I thought you loved me.”

“I do. God help me.”

A sound of pure misery came from the door of the bus and Dum Dum stumbled out. His hat was pulled down low and he nearly missed the last step, stumbling over to the two of them, landing on Bucky’s lap and making the chair groan under their combined weight. Bucky gave him a hard shove and Dum Dum landed on his ass on the ground.

“I don’t know what it is you put in what we drank last night, Romanoff, but you are a devil woman and are going straight to hell when you die.”

Natasha smiled widely. “And you’ll be right there with me, Timothy.”

“Always, darlin’.”

Bucky closed his eyes and tugged his leather jacket over his head to provide shade. He didn’t care that it was hotter than the surface of the sun. He had a look to maintain. Black skinny jeans, black T-shirt for a band he was way too young to have ever seen in concert, black boots, and a black leather jacket were not to be sacrificed for comfort. No matter what.

Dum Dum sat up and nodded to a group of people nearby at a bus Bucky didn’t recognize. “Who’s that?”

“New band joining the tour.” Natasha sat up and took Bucky’s beer out of his hand. “Baby band. Ripe for corruption. Peggy already invited them to the bus tonight after their show.”

“Ah. Must include a strapping young gentleman.” Dum Dum leaned back and looked at Bucky, his lower lip sliding out in an exaggerated pout. “Sorry, boss man. No hot young thing for you.”

“I’ve had my fill of hot young things. I’m all about the music now.” Both Dum Dum and Natasha gave Bucky a look, and he tried to look offended. “What?”

“We’ve met you.”

“A man makes one mistake…”

“One?” Natasha’s eyebrow lifted sharply. “Peggy! James is claiming he’s made _one_ mistake.”

“One?” Peggy poked her head out of the bus and walked over to join the three of them “Did he mean today? I know he’s been up for at least ten minutes, so I know one is just a lowball figure…”

“Ha ha, You guys are great. Funny as hell. Fuck you all.” He grabbed his beer back from Natasha

“Mm. You wish.” Peggy came over and leaned in to kiss Bucky’s cheek. “But, alas, you’ve found the four people in the world who are perfectly capable of resisting your charms.”

“Bullshit. Wanda _loves_ me.”

“Wanda hero-worships you, only because she doesn’t know better. And she thinks sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll is actually a motto to live by.”

“I haven’t done drugs in months.”

“Yeah, sometimes an OD does that for you.” Peggy’s voice was dry, but Bucky felt it like an icy whip. None of the band had quite forgiven him for what had happened, even if it hadn’t been all his own fault. Enough of it had been. And the subsequent stomach pumping and two-night hospital stay had cut short their last tour and forced their management to put out a statement that had been a boldfaced lie.

“And I’ve told her that drugs are bad.”

“Let’s just hope she does as you say and not as you do.”

“ _Did_.”

“Did.” Peggy nodded decisively. “Exactly.”

“Ugh.” Bucky groaned and finished off his beer in one last long swallow. “Nat says you’ve invited the new baby band to party with us tonight.”

“Well. I invited them to the bus after our set. Not sure they’ll come. We’re not exactly party central any longer.“

“I know you drank at least as much as I did.” Bucky pointed at her. “How were you up early enough to chat them up?”

“Peggy’s curiosity is more powerful than any hangover,” Dum Dum said. “Plus, like I said, probably a hottie.”

“The lead singer is…” Peggy shrugged and tilted her head from side to side. “Something.”

“But is the band any good?”

Peggy smiled at Natasha. “They’re on right before us. We’ll have to watch and see.”

**

“You’re kidding me.”

Bucky was glad Dum Dum said something before he did, because Dum Dum was allowed to get away with saying things Bucky couldn’t. “That’s the lead singer?”

Peggy smiled. “Yes. Like I said. He’s something.”

Dum Dum stared at her. “Something. He’s something all right.”

Bucky had to agree. But with Peggy more than with Dum Dum, though he’d never admit it. The lead singer was skinny as a rail and had a mop of hair that fell in his face. He was wearing threadbare jeans and a T-shirt that was old and stretched and that hung off one shoulder and exposed his collarbone.

Bucky swallowed hard and cleared his throat. There were three men and a woman standing with him, and Bucky knew he should be staring at the woman in the group. She was beautiful –- long blonde hair, light freckles on her cheeks and nose, and eyes that were currently moving over him. She was completely Bucky’s type, the type he took home, the type he took back to the bus or hotel rooms now and again.

“What’s her name?”

“Sharon,” Peggy said with a smirk. “She’s quite single. I made sure to check for you.”

“Thanks.” Bucky looked over the rest of the band, but his gaze drifted back to the lead singer. “Figured she’d be with Mr. Something.”

“Most people know better than to shit where they eat.” Natasha gave Bucky a significant look.

“I’ve never slept with any of you.”

“No,” Dum Dum agreed. “Just one roadie, one tech girl, and two merch girls.”

“One of the merch girls was stealing from us!”

“Are we talking about the one time Bucky screwing the merch girl didn’t screw us?” Wanda seemed to appear out of nowhere, which was her usual. “You did good, Bucky.”

“Seriously. I hate you all.”

Peggy smiled at him, then walked over to the other band. Natasha followed, and, eventually, so did the rest of them. She introduced them all to each other – Sharon on bass, Sam and Gabe on guitar, and Tony on drums. “And this is Steve. And, in turn, my idiots are Wanda on bass, Natasha and myself on guitar, and Timothy on drums. James is our hapless leader.”

Everyone shook hands, Steve and Bucky the last to do so. Steve’s hair was blondish-brown, and he kept sweeping the bangs off his forehead, though it didn’t manage to do any good for long. His eyes were a deep blue with hints of green, there was a constellation of freckles on his skin, and his lashes were dark and long. Bucky was glad Peggy had introduced them, because he wasn’t sure he was able to talk.

Bucky nodded and stepped back, telling himself to get under control. His band wouldn’t care if they found out he was bisexual, but he wasn’t about to deal with the press and management and everyone else that would likely have something to say. Which meant not looking at Steve. Not glancing at his collarbone and shoulder to see where the freckles appeared on his pale skin. Instead he focused on Sharon, giving her his best, most flirtatious smile.

Steve’s eyes stayed on Bucky, and he could feel them like a brand on his skin, like a physical touch. It made Bucky more determined to ignore him, and he moved into Sharon's space, his back to Steve altogether.

By the time Steve and the band were due to go on, Bucky had Sharon off in a corner, arm over her head as he leaned in, fingers tracing the line of her jaw.

“Hey, Shar.” Sam waved at her. “Need the rest of our rhythm section over here, huh?”

“Right.” She smiled at Bucky. “Nice talking with you. I’ll see you at the party after?”

“Yes, ma’am.” He tipped an imaginary hat at her. “That you will.”

As she walked toward her band, Bucky headed back to his. All of them rolled their eyes at him in unison. He held his hands out in a “what can I say” gesture and they shook their heads. By the time he reached them, Steve and his band were bounding onto the stage and the crowd started going crazy.

“Wow. Hometown?”

“Close enough.”

“Are they actually any good?”

Peggy smiled and nodded toward the stage. There was a quick back and forth of guitar and drum, the bass kicked in. The crowd got louder and then it was suddenly silent, something suspended in the air. And then Steve started to sing.

“Holy shit,” Bucky breathed, nodding as Wanda shushed him. Steve’s voice didn’t match his body. It was deep and throaty and low. It growled out of him like something sexual and predatory, which matched perfectly with the slow sway of his hips and the way he played with the microphone cord – winding it between his fingers, around his wrists.

The audience was going crazy, singing along, and Bucky wanted to make them all shut up so he could just hear Steve and nothing else. He wanted to close his eyes and just listen, but he couldn’t actually look away from Steve’s hips, his hands, his mouth as he wrapped it around the words. He started as an arm looped over his shoulder, hand settling in the middle of his chest. He knew it was Peggy without looking even before she rested her chin on his shoulder. “I think I’m going to spend the night with that young gentleman,” she informed him. “Possibly the morning as well if I’m very lucky.”

“You have a boyfriend.”

“And he and I have an understanding. Also, I’m relatively sure that if he met Steve, he’d approve and possibly join us. And now I’m thinking about very naughty things the two of us could do to that lovely boy, and I might need a moment before I go up on stage.”

“You could at least let him get used to the tour.”

She shook her head. “And let Natasha or Wanda go first? Afraid not.”

Bucky looked over at his bandmates and realized Peggy wasn’t kidding. Both Natasha and Wanda were watching Steve with interest. “Should I film the upcoming cat fight?”

“There won’t be anything to see. We’re far too sneaky. This is guerilla warfare.”

“I’m so glad I am not sleeping with any of you.”

“We all know that’s not true, darling, but we let you exist in your delusion.” She kisses his cheek. “But fear not. I’m sure Miss Sharon will be more than willing to keep you occupied.”

“I’m not looking for occupied.”

“You’ve been staring the entire set.”

Bucky blinked and looked beyond Steve to Sharon on the other side of him, in Bucky’s line of sight if he hadn’t been staring at Steve. “Right.”

“A good night for us, hmm?”

“Yeah. Definitely.” He gave Steve one last long look. “I need to go start warming up.”

**

Bucky hung back after their set, drinking down his third bottle of water. His shirt clung to him with sweat, and his hair was plastered to his face. Every time he tried to brush the strands away, they seemed to cling even more.

“You guys were amazing.”

“Thanks.” Bucky turned on his fan-smile, trying not to be annoyed that a fan got this far back this quickly. Or at all. Then it dawned on him that the voice was male. And deep. He swallowed, smile disappearing as he realized it was Steve talking to him. “I appreciate it. You guys were good too.”

Good. Jesus, Bucky wanted to smack himself upside the head. Good wasn’t adequate enough to describe how Steve’s set had been.

“Thanks.” He had a delicate pink blush that lit up the apples of his cheeks. His skin was still pale, not touched by the summer tour sun, and the color accentuated the smattering of freckles. “Well, I should probably find Peggy, but I wanted to let you know that I’m a fan. Of the band. And you. You’re an amazing frontman.”

“I’ve got a good band behind me.”

“A good band doesn’t guarantee a good frontman. Don’t sell yourself short.”

“Band’s not just me though.”

“I didn’t say it was. But you’re good at what you do.” Steve’s eyes dropped and Bucky felt them like a touch as they slid down his body, as Steve blatantly appraised him. “And you look good doing it.”

Bucky opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out. Steve’s mouth quirked and he sighed.

“Is that going to be a problem?”

“That? What?”

“Nothing. I’m gonna go find Peggy, assuming Gabe or Sam haven't fallen at her feet or anything.”

Bucky watched him go, thoroughly confused. “I think I missed something somewhere in there.,” he mumbled to himself. He glanced around, but the only other person nearby was one of the roadies, and he was blatantly waiting for Bucky to get out of his way. “Right.”

**

The party was in full swing by the time he got to the bus, music pumping loud out of the speakers and the cooler open and half-empty. Bucky dodged through the crowd, snaking his way to the bus. He was about halfway to his bunk and Steve was staring wide-eyed at the girl straddling Dum Dum’s lap. “Dum Dum, you have a bunk for that, Jesus.”

“We haven’t decided if we’re going that far. Now shut up.” He kissed the girl again, and she giggled as his mustache tickled her.

“Jesus.” Bucky looked at Steve. “It’s not a peep show, kid.”

Those blue eyes turned on Bucky and he looked pissed. And Bucky should not find that as hot as he did. “I’m not a kid.”

“You old enough to drink that beer in your hand?”

He very deliberately brought the can to his lips, his Adam's apple bobbing as he drank. Bucky didn’t mean to watch the line of his throat, but he couldn’t help but stare at the long column of pale skin. Shit. He needed to get himself under control. There were plenty of women around who would be more than happy to sleep with him. He didn’t need to be thinking about Steve. Sleeping with him. Or anything else that might involve a bed. Or any flat surface. Or someone being bent over something. Shit.

“That a no then?”

“Oh, James.” Peggy draped herself over Bucky’s shoulders, giving him a smacking kiss on the cheek and no doubt leaving a bright red lipstick print on his cheek, “Do be nice to Steve. I know it’s not in your nature, but we don’t want to run him off.”

“You don’t want him run off.”

“Well, I’m not saying that I wouldn’t happily make sure he was feeling welcomed, but I’m afraid I’m not his type, am I, darling?” She smiled at Steve and he blushed, and Bucky frowned. He was still missing something, goddamnit.

Oh.

“You’re gay?”

“James!”

Steve stood up to his full height, which couldn't have been more than five and a half feet. “So you do have a problem with it.” He nodded, then shook his head. “I’d heard rumors, but I really hoped they weren’t true. Thanks for the invite, Peggy. I think I’m going to head back to our bus. It’s been a long day.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Bucky said, grabbing for Steve’s arm. Steve jerked it away. “It’s not. I don’t care if you’re gay. I just…”

“Don’t want me to hit on you. I got it. Don’t worry. It’s not going to be a problem.” He slipped past Bucky and headed for the door of the bus. Bucky just stared after him until Peggy slapped the back of his head.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Nothing! That’s not what I meant! I mean, I didn’t mean anything. I was just surprised. No one’s gay on Warped. Or in the music business. Not that will admit it.”

“I can’t imagine why that would be the case, especially if your response is the typical reaction.”

“I’ll go apologize to him.”

“I’m sure it would be very sincere.” Her accent seemed to make the words even drier. “I’d suggest leaving him alone. He’s probably talking to his boyfriend anyway. Doubt he wants you to ruin that as well.”

**

The next morning was a new venue and a new hangover. Bucky groaned when he got off the bus and headed straight for the catering tent. Not that it was really catering so much as bad coffee and stale donuts, but it was a damn sight better than the half-empty sleeve of blueberry Pop-Tarts. Unfrosted.

“Lorraine, tell me you have something special for me.”

“You mean like a paternity suit?”

“Now now. I always suit up before I go on.”

“Yeah, yeah. You’re a gentleman.” She handed him a cup of black sludge with a hint of white that was either cream or curdled milk. Either was possible, and neither could make the coffee taste worse. “You’re too late for the old-fashioned though. Someone else beat you to them.” She gestured over to one of the picnic tables to where Steve was sitting with a half-doughnut and a bottle of water.

“I thought you loved me above all others.”

“I thought you said you were clean.”

“Wounded. That’s what I am. Wounded.” He leaned over the table and gave her a quick kiss. “What about the little Hostess donuts? Chocolate covered?”

“I have crumb covered.”

“Wow, Lorraine. It’s like I don’t even know you anymore.” He snagged the package from her and glanced down at the offee again. “Give me a water?”

“You know water is marginally healthy. Are you sure your body can handle that?”

He rolled his eyes and took the bottle from her, heading over to the table Steve was sitting at. He sank down across from him and rested his elbow on the table. “Hey.”

Steve glanced up and nodded. “Hey,”

“We got off to a bad start last night. Hi.” He held out his hand. “I’m Bucky Barnes.”

Steve looked at his hand for a moment then reached out and shook it. “Steve Rogers.”

“I saw your set. You guys are good.”

“We’re okay.”

“First lesson, self-deprecation has no place on this tour. You say thank you and own it. If you don’t show that you think you kick ass, no one else is going to either. You owned the stage last night and had the audience eating out of your hand. Acknowledge that. Channel your own Robert Plant or whatever. You’ve got it. You flaunt it.”

“Okay,” Steve agreed slowly. “Thanks, man.”

“Better.” He smiled and opened the package of his donuts, dumping three of them on Steve’s paper plate and stealing the half of his old-fashioned. “Lesson number two. Don’t steal the old-fashioned because I will cut you.”

“Noted.”

“Third, I’m not a homophobe. I didn’t know you were gay and it took me by surprise. It’s not common for people to be out in the business, especially guys. I’ve got no problem with you being gay. You be as gay as you want.”

“It’s not a want or don’t want thing. It comes naturally.”

“I meant you should flaunt that too if you want, or don’t if you’d rather no one knew. But I will tell you that you’re going to have a lot of women throwing themselves at your feet, throwing lingerie at you, and offering to do very naughty things to you. I’m not saying there won’t be guys doing the same thing, but there will _definitely_ be girls.”

“I’m not afraid of them. I just don’t want to sleep with them.”

“Okay. Good. That’s good.”

“Exactly. More for you. Though I’m pretty sure if anyone’s getting castoffs, I’ll be getting yours, not the other way around.”

“Eh.” Bucky shrugged. “Anyway, reputations are easy to get and nearly impossible to lose. Trust me on that one. Warped is an incestuous little world, but it’s only for a summer. That doesn’t mean shit doesn’t go on forever though. So.”

“Thanks for the warning.” Steve rubbed his face with both hands. “This is so unreal.”

“Yeah. Unreal’s a good word for it. Trust no one and nothing. It’s probably all fake anyway.” Bucky finished the old-fashioned and licked the glaze from his fingertips. “So, c’mon. Let me show you around.”

By the time they got back to Bucky’s bus, Bucky decided Steve was his best friend. Screw his band. They were mean and spiteful, horrible people. Steve was sharp and sarcastic, funny and charming. He bumbled through every introduction and conversation with any beautiful woman they saw, and Warped provided more than its fair share of those.

Some of the other bands already knew him, but most of them blinked at him bleary-eyed as they said hello. Thor, the lead guitarist for Stormbringer, spent far too long looking at and talking to Steve for Bucky’s comfort, and even the pills Thor’s brother, Loki, gave him didn’t mute the irritation.

Val, Stormbringer’s drummer, looped her arm over Bucky’s shoulders. “You’re staring.”

“What?” He forced his gaze from Steve to her. “What? No. I’m just wondering if Thor’s going to crush him just by giving him a hug. Pretty sure he’s made of matchsticks and indignation.”

“Doesn’t perform like it. I caught the tail end of their set yesterday. They’re good. He’s good.”

“Yeah. They were on right before us.” He rubbed the baggie of pills in his pocket between his fingers. “he’s involved.”

“You say that like you think it matters. This is Warped, darling. Nothing here counts, because nothing here is real.”

“Is that your way of saying Thor’s trying to seduce him?”

“That’s me saying he’s going to get eaten alive once you introduce him to the Decaydance crew. Wentz probably already has the scent of fresh blood in the water.”

“Nat and Peggy said Shield’s already signed them.”

“Wentz has his ways.”

“Fuck.”

Val laughed. “What’s the matter, Barnes? Rest of the band already hooked up? Lonely and in need of a friend?”

“Fuck you.”

“Mm. Maybe later.” She waggled her eyebrows. “Thor! Barnes says you’re not allowed to break him the first week. You’ve gotta give him back.”

Thor’s laugh boomed, seeming to echo through the row of buses. “I think Steven here is less fragile than Barnes thinks.” He slapped Steve on the shoulder, causing him to stumble forward. “I’ll catch up with you later, yes?”

“Yeah.” Steve’s smile caused Bucky’s insides to twist in a way they hadn’t since the first time he’d seen Johnny Storm naked on his first tour. Fuckj Johnny’d given Bucky a drunken blow job – his first from a guy – and Bucky had hidden from him the rest of the tour, working his way through female groupies, pretending he wasn’t thinking about the wet, sloppy heat of Johnny’s mouth. He hadn’t been near a guy since, but, fuck Steve was making him feel the same way.

“You want some coffee?” Bucky asked as Steve walked over to him. “Should have some semi-decent stuff on the bus by now, assuming Clint hasn’t drunk it all.”

“Who’s Clint?”

“Tour manager. Natasha’s fuck buddy. Coffee connoisseur. Disaster. Asshole. My best friend.”

“What do you say about your enemies?”

“I’m an angel. Don’t have any.”

Steve actually snorted. “Nice try. Your reputation precedes you.”

“Yikes.”

“Barnes! Bucky! My most favorite leading man!”

“After Patrick, Saporta, Beckett, McCoy, and Urie?”

“Lies. I don’t know any of those people. I only have eyes for you. Who’s this?”

Bucky laughed. “Steve Rogers, allow me to introduce you to the force of nature that is Pete Wentz.”

“Bassist. Fall Out Boy. You’re the lead singer for Nomad, right? I heard you’re amazing. I’m going to watch you today and fall in love with you and forget all about Barnes.” Pete took Steve’s arm. “Come with me. Let me show you the dark underbelly.”

“Don’t introduce him to My Chem, Pete.” Bucky shook his head. “He’s not ready for that.”

“They’re teddy bears. Wait until you meet Mikey Way. You’ll fall in love, but he’s mine. So is Patrick, so hands off.”

“Right. Um, I’m seeing someone?” Steve looked overwhelmed as he glanced over at Bucky.

“Don’t listen to anything he says. In fact, don’t let him drag you away.” Bucky knew it didn’t matter what Steve did, he was in Pete’s clutches now. “Wentz is the worst.”

“More lies! I’m amazing. Gabe is the worst. And the best. Except Patrick. C’mon Steve. Love me.”

Pete dragged Steve away, and Steve kept his eyes on Bucky, mouthing “help me,” but Bucky knew that once Pete got going, there was no stopping him.

He started back to the bus again and climbed aboard. No one else was there, and the coffee pot was empty, so he headed for his bunk. He was still hung over, so he dug the pills out of his pocket and swallowed two of them dry. He was pretty sure they would alleviate his headache, or at least get him high enough not to care.

He closed his eyes, biting his lower lip as he pictured Steve. His long fingers tangled in the mic cord. His plush, pink lips. Bucky groaned and undid his jeans as his cock started to harden. It was easy to imagine those lips around his dick those fingers on his hips. He wrapped one hand around himself and curled the fingers of the others around the base, pressing down.

He could imagine Steve looking up at him through his dark lashes, mouth wet with spit, eyes glassy with tears as he took Bucky deep. Bucky groaned again, tightening his grip, hand moving faster.

“Fuck. Oh fuck” he whimpered quietly. He felt the pills kick in, a lush euphoria filling him. It seemed to push his orgasm out of reach, but ratcheted up the heat and thickness of his cock. He thought of fisting Steve’s hair, of holding him still and fucking his mouth. He thought about Steve pulling back, about coming on his face. Steve licking Bucky’s come off his lips.

Heat kept building, climbing, but never peaking as Bucky kept stroking. He slipped his hand off the base and slid it down so he could grab and squeeze his balls, and then all he could think about was Steve’s fingers sliding inside him as he sucked.

Johnny had touched him there and Bucky had come, but he wanted Steve inside him. Wanted to last long enough to take him.

Bucky glanced down, surprised by the streaks of white on his black T-shirt. He didn’t remember coming, and he watched in a dazed fascination as his hand kept moving, squeezing the last drops from his cock.

“Oh.” He grinned and ran a finger over his slit, then sucked it into his mouth to lick off the sticky remnant of his orgasm. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew he was in trouble, but exhaustion hit, and he fell asleep before he could remember why.

**

“You’re an idiot.”

Bucky woke up when Natasha slapped him upside the head. “Fuck. Ow.”

“Also, you’re disgusting. Never wear that crusty shirt again.”

“I was _sleeping_.”

“You let him get captured by Wentz of all people.”

“Have you ever tried to keep something he wanted from Pete.”

“Okay, you have a point, but no one’s seen Rogers in hours, and they’re due on stage at four.”

“Time means nothing to me.”

“Forty-five minutes.”

“Pete won’t let him miss a show.”

“Pete is easily distracted by shiny things. You lost him, you find him. And change your shirt.”

“Rogers is a grown-ass man.” Bucky slid out of his bunk, looking down at his shirt and wrinkling his nose. “He can make his own set.”

“And put your dick away.”

Bucky tugged his shirt off and tossed it away before glancing down and blinking at his cock. The heated rush of memory smacked him hard in the chest and groin.

Finding Steve was a bad idea. Seeing Steve _ever_ again was a bad idea. Bucky tugged up his boxer briefs and did up his jeans, doing his best not to think about Steve and getting himself in trouble again.

“Have you looked on his bus?”

Natasha came back into the bunk area and gave Bucky a look that told him both how fucking dumb he was and how much she was restraining herself from slapping him again. “Go find Wentz and steal him back. And whoever the girl was, tell her we don’t wash clothes that often, so next time don’t make a mess.”

Bucky grabbed a shirt out of his duffle bag and pulled it on, brushing past her as he headed for the door.

“Barnes! Bucky of my heart!” Pete was standing just outside the bus door, and he shoved Steve forward. “I’m returning your property. He’s adorable and I want one, so I fully intend to steal him permanently. I have no idea where his bus is, but I know where yours is, so here he is.”

“First of all, he’s no one’s property. And second of all, I bet he knows where it is. Did you ask him?”

“Maybe?” Steve said, sounding overwhelmed. “But even if he did, I couldn’t get a word in edgewise.”

“See? Adorable.” Pete kissed Steve’s cheek with a loud smack. “Seriously. Stealing him. Adding him to my harem.”

“You can’t have a harem of your singers, Pete. You’re straight and they’re all male.”

“Only straight below the waist.” Pete slapped Steve’s ass. “Gotta go get a good spot to watch you.”

Steve and Bucky both watched Pete scurry off. Steve shook his head. “Never leave me alone with him again.”

“I can’t make that promise. He’s a sneaky fucker.”

Steve shook his head. “I feel like Alice in Wonderland.”

“You didn’t let him feed you, give you anything to drink, or take pills from anyone, right?”

“No.”

“Good. Never do.”

“Noted. I have to go.”

“Yes. Before your band kills me.”

“My band?”

“Apparently today Pete Wentz is my fault. So go.” He watched Steve walk off toward the stage to meet up with his band to warm up. His jeans look painted on and his too-large T-shirt hung on his frame. Bucky absolutely did not stare at his ass. “Nat?”

“Hm?”

“We watching their show?”

“Wouldn’t miss it.”

**

Bucky came off the stage drenched in sweat. It dripped from his hair onto the T-shirt that clung to his chest. The waistbands of his jeans and underwear were wet, and the euphoria of a great set made him laugh out loud before taking the bottle of water someone held out to him. He drained it in a couple of swallows. 

They stowed their instruments, then trawled the buses, looking for a party. One of the harder bands playing the main stage had a keg, a makeshift bar of cheap booze, and a bunch of girls, most of whom at least looked legal.

“Hey, man,” the guitarist for Steve’s band – Sam? Gabe? Jim? Bucky couldn’t remember – said as he came over. “You guys fucking killed it tonight. Pretty sure you broke a panty record.”

“Still not sure what I’m supposed to do with them all.”

“Oh, wear ‘em. That’s what we do.” He choked on a laugh caused by whatever Bucky’s face was doing. “Dude. Fuck. Kidding.”

“Right.” Bucky couldn’t imagine what he looked like, though he could very clearly imagine a pair of panties stretched across Steve’s ass. Fuck. Apparently Steve Rogers made everything – even fantasies Bucky was pretty sure he wasnt into – seem hot.

Fuck

“Dick. And here I was hoping for a fashion show.” Bucky managed. “Maybe see if Dum Dum would join in. Bet that hairy beast body would rock a matching bra and panties.”

He – Sam, Bucky finally remembered – laughed. “Maybe that’s a bet someone needs to make.”

“Maybe. Or not, because it’s a horrifying thought.” Bucky exhaled slowly. “You the only one of your band here?”

“Nah. Most of us are around. Steve’s busy on his nightly Skype session.” Sam rolled his eyes.

“You don’t like his boyfriend?”

“Like him fine. Don’t like that he spends half the call needing Steve to reassure him that he’s not fucking around on tour.”

“Jealous?”

“Or something. It’s stupid, because Steve’s the most loyal dude I’ve ever known. He gives you his word, and honors it for life.”

“And he’s in the music business?”

“Someone told him he couldn’t cut it, and if you ever want Rogers to do something, tell him you don’t think he can. Then watch out.”

Bucky laughed and shook his head “Sounds like Steve is a little shit.”

“You are not wrong.”

**

The next time Bucky saw Steve – not that he’d been looking for him – he was talking to someone Bucky didn’t recognize. The guy was gorgeous, his dark skin glowing in the sun. The thought that he might be Steve’s boyfriend made Bucky’s stomach clench. He walked over, managing to smile widely.

“Steve. Hey.”

“Oh. Hey, Buck.” Steve gave him a small smile, and Bucky had to fight a smile at the nickname. “This is T’Challa.”

T’Challa reached out a hand to take Bucky’s. “Nice to meet you.”

“Bucky’s the lead singer of Widow’s Bite.”

“Yes. I’ve heard of him.”

“Shit,” Bucky groaned. “That’s _never_ good.”

“My sister, Shuri, designed your guitar.”

“You’re from Wakanda Management?”

“Yes. I believe my cousin, Erik, represents you, yes? Killmonger Records?”

“Well, we have a contract through them. I’ve never actually met him.” Bucky shifted slightly, shoving his hands in his pockets. “So you’re Steve’s…”

“Steve and I are good friends.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Really?” T’Challa smiled and Steve shook his head. “He’s our manager.”

T’Challa smiled. “You never let me have any fun.”

“You have enough fun without me.” 

“Yes, yes. Well, I need to get back. Okoye told me to behave.”

“And you listened to her?”

“ _Everyone_ listens to her.” T’Challa clapped his hand on Steve’s shoulder. “I’ll call you once everything is ironed out and ready to go. Now, remember. No sex and drugs. Just rock and roll.”

Steve rolled his eyes again. “Really?”

T’Challa laughed again, shook Bucky’s hand, and walked off. Steve shoved his hands in his pockets, mimicking Bucky’s stance. He started walking, and Bucky fell in step with him. “Thought he was your boyfriend.”

Steve stumbled and came to a stop. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah.”

“You have eyes, right?” Steve looked down at himself. “You _saw_ him.”

“Yeah. And?”

He waves his hand up and down the length of his body. “And me.”

“Yeah.” Bucky nods. “Not following.”

“Someone that looks like _that_ isn’t going to be interested in me.”

“Why not?”

Steve shook his head. “Right. Okay. Well, you’re an idiot.”

“Nice. And here I thought we were best friends.”

“And why would you think that?” Steve started walking again, back toward the bus that his band was sharing with one of the other up-and-comers. Bucky took a few quick steps to catch up with him.

“Are you trying to tell me you don’t feel our deep and visceral connection?”

“So you’re already drunk then.”

“Stevie, Stevie, Stevie.”

Steve huffed an annoyed breath. “Don’t call me that.”

Bucky wrapped his arm around Steve’s shoulders and tugged him closer. He didn’t let himself question why he was doing it. He usually wasn’t physically affectionate with anyone but his band. He definitely didn’t let himself think about how good, how _right_ Steve felt pressed against him. He reached out with his other hand and ruffled Steve’s hair. 

Steve ducked and slapped Bucky’s arm at the same time. “The fuck?”

“Tell the truth. You don’t want to go back to your bus. You want the full Warped experience. Flirting with merch people, drinking all hours of the day, making out with people you don’t know and will never see again. Getting incredibly stoned or high and reaching a whole new level of consciousness. And Pop-tarts.”

“Um. No?”

“Yes. This is Warped, Steve. It’s what it’s about. What it does. You’re helpless in its clutches.”

“So Warped is basically Pete Wentz?”

Bucky laughed. “Yes, actually.”

Steve stopped and just stared at Bucky. “Drunk and high.”

“Just a little high. Happy high.” Bucky gave Steve a quick, noisy kiss against his temple. “C’mon. It’s a day off without travel. Have a little fun. Just a tiny bit.” He held out a thumb and a finger less than an inch apart. “This much. This much fun.”

“Are you going to leave me alone if I say no?”

“Never. Never ever. We’re best friends forever. You want a blood pact? We could do that. Seal it with a kiss.” Bucky puckered his lips and made more kissing noises.

“You look like a dying fish.”

“I could be a fish in disguise. You don’t know. And you never will if you don’t come with me.”

“Jesus. Fine.”

“Ha!” Bucky punched the air. “Let’s go. Let the fun begin.”

**

Steve swayed to the right, and Bucky reached out and grabbed his arm, tugging him closer. “I don’t want to alarm you, Stevie, but you are drunk and high and having fun.”

Steve tried to frown. “Am not.”

“You are. Don’t be a liar. A lying liar who lies. That’s what you are.”

“You’re using peer pressure. You’re peering. Pressuring. You’re a bad man.”

“More lies.” Bucky pulled him even closer, tucking Steve tight against him. “C’mon. There’s another party.”

“No more parties.” Steve leaned in closer, hand on Bucky’s stomach just below his rib cage. “No more parties for Steve.”

“They need us. The parties They _need_ us, Steve.”

“No. Think ‘m gonna be sick.”

“No! Wait yes! Then there’s room for more!”

“I don’t think…” Steve’s whole body heaved and he pulled away from Bucky, stumbling over to a nearby bush. 

Bucky watched him for a moment, then walked over, resting his hand on Steve’s lower back. He didn’t think, just rubbed slow circles. Steve braced his hands on his knees, then straightened.

“Sorry.”

Bucky shook his head. “You’re first Warped vomit of excess. It’s a rite of passage.” He pulled Steve close again. “Now you are one of us.”

“Good.” Steve nodded. He still looked slightly green. “Can I go to my bus now?”

“Yes. The bus. Excellent idea.” Bucky started walking, his hold on Steve pulling him along.

“Bucky. Buck.” Steve stopped and Bucky nearly toppled over. “My bus is that way.”

“No. Our bus. Our bus is better. Bigger. I have a toothbrush.”

“So do I. I have _my_ toothbrush.”

“Steve,” Bucky pleaded, dropping to his knees and looking up at him. “Please. Pleeeeeeeease.”

Steve rolled his eyes, then swayed slightly. “How old are you?”

“Old enough to know better. Young enough not to give a shit. C’mon. We’ll watch movies, play video games. I think we have Scrabble. We’ll write songs. We should write songs together.” He got to his feet. “That is the best idea ever.”

**

Bucky woke up lying on his back on the floor. He looked up and Steve was stretched out on the couch with Bucky’s feet across his lap. He tried to sit up, but that required effort as well as digging his feet into Steve, and the very distinct possibility of experiencing the full power of his hangover.

His bladder informed him that it didn’t give a shit about Bucky’s feelings on the matter, it had urgent plans. Rather than standing up, Bucky swung his legs off Steve’s lap onto the floor, rolled over, and crawled to the bathroom.

He managed to stagger to his feet and pee, but his head screamed at him in English, the Russian he’d learned from Natasha, and his high school French. He didn’t know what “fromage!” had to do with anything, except his breath smelled like old, disgusting something that could probably be cheese.

He rested his hands on the sink and dared to look at himself in the mirror. His eyes were bloodshot and his hair was sticking straight up in the back, puffed out like a cloud.

“You look like shit” Natasha said from the doorway. Her arms were crossed over her chest, and she smirked.

“Yes,” Bucky agreed. He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to the cool glass of the mirror. “Feel even worse. Refried shit.”

“Lovely. So is there a reason Steve Rogers is passed out on our couch?”

“We may have indulged in a few substances. Legal and non.”

“A few.”

“Some.”

“Some.” 

Bucky’s temple started throbbing and he pressed his fingers against it. He could _hear_ Natasha’s smirk. 

“Denise asked about you last night.”

“Who?”

“You’re such a dick. Denise is the girl who’s been giving you blow jobs lately.”

“I thought her name was Dani.”

“Whatever. She was hoping you’d stop by.”

“We were there for a while. Must have just missed her.”

“Okay, so when did you decide that you needed to be Steve’s guru of bad decisions?”

“I’m just showing him the ropes.”

“Pretty sure he can figure out how to get a hangover on his own. Bet he knew how even before you came along.”

Bucky opened one eye and glared at her. “Is there a reason you’re busting my balls about this?”

“Because you’re going to fuck something up. Steve’s gay, Bucky.”

“And that’s a problem?” Bucky snapped. The thought of Natasha being homophobic hit him like a freight train.

“Fuck you, Barnes. I just meant he’s on his first major tour and you’re showing him all this attention.”

“I’m being his _friend_.”

“He might get the wrong idea!”

“I don’t suppose I can interrupt and use the bathroom.” Steve was standing stiffly just behind Natasha, and his smile had no humor in it, had nothing but what looked like acceptance. Like this conversation was something he expected. “But I’ll put your mind at ease, Natasha. I stopped falling for straight guys a long time ago. And no one, not even me, is going to think Bucky’s doing anything other than showing the straight-laced looking new guy around. People like him…” He shook his head. “Forget it. But, you know, thanks. All things considered, last night was fun.”

Steve turned, bathroom forgotten, and headed toward the front of the bus. Bucky leveled his gaze at Natasha.

“Was that necessary?”

Natasha blew out a breath. “We’re on at eight tonight. Don’t be late.”

Bucky stared after her, then went to his bunk, climbing inside. With a late start he could get some more sleep. Or could if he could manage to get comfortable. He gave up quickly and fished his phone out of his pocket to text Steve.

_sorry. Nat was out of line_

_Don’t worry about it._

_We’re friends, right?_

_Y. Nat thinking I’m going to pine for you doesn’t change that. Like I said, not interested in straight guys. Learned my lesson about that a long time ago. Need to go. Missed call last night. Have to take care of that._

_Oh shit. Boyfriend?_

_Y. talk every night, so have to make it up to him._

_Sorry if I interrupted the course of true love._

_It’s fine. Promise. Talk to you later_

Bucky set his phone aside and closed his eyes. He could hear the rest of his band in the back of the bus, and he had to smile. Overprotectiveness aside, they were his favorite people, his family. He shifted and tried to settle, the bunks weren’t the most comfortable, but they were certainly better than Clint’s mom’s van.

They were definitely more private.

He had absolutely zero intention of thinking about Steve, but his brain reminded him of the night before, how easy it had been. Which meant nothing more than that Steve was a good friend and that thinking about him as anything more was unfair. Besides, Steve had a boyfriend. And as far as he knew, Bucky was straight.

“Fuck.” Bucky turned over in his bunk and put his pillow over the top of his head. Steve was his friend. Just his friend.

That was all.

Except when Bucky closed his eyes, all he could see was Steve. He threw his pillow at the wall and got out of his bunk, because otherwise he was going to jerk himself off again. Thinking about Steve. Which he absolutely was not going to do.

**

There was a layer of anger to Nomad’s set that night. Steve owned the stage, leaning against Sam, sinking to his knees with his legs spread wide, his lyrics sharp and biting.

Bucky watched in awe as the audience fed it all back, shouting the lyrics. Security had to pull two girls and three guys off the stage during the forty-five minute set.

“Goodness.” Peggy leaned into Bucky. “He’s something else tonight.”

Bucky swallowed, unable to look away. Steve’s eyes were too blue to be real, too much to take. “Yeah. That’s one way to put it. Holy shit.”

“Good thing we caught him before Wentz saw him. Although…” She nodded to the side of the stage where Pete and Patrick were standing. Pete looked like he was in love and going to jerk Steve off the minute their set was over.

“He’s met Pete. Been overwhelmed by Pete.”

“Mm. But Patrick’s with him.”

Bucky took a deep breath as Steve launched into their song that was a current hit on the indie stations. It was their last song, and Pete looked ready to pounce. And once Pete decided someone was his, he never let go.

“Fuck.”

Bucky hurried over to side stage and put his hand on Pete’s chest. “Nope.”

“Yesssssss.”

“No, Pete. You’re not getting your hands on him.”

“But Barnes, I _need_ him.”

“No.”

Pete narrowed his eyes and then exhaled slowly. “Okay, Barnes. Okay.”

“Thank you.” Bucky turned around and watched Steve finish his set. Pete moved up next to him and leaned in. 

“I don’t know what did that to him, but there are a fuckload of people out there having their first orgasm.”

Bucky nodded. “Yeah.”

“I mean, I’ve had one before, but I’m pretty sure I’m gonna have to change my pants.”

“Ew, Pete.”

He giggled as Sam ended the song with a flourish. The note seemed to hang in the air while Steve got to his feet. His face was flushed and he was sweat-soaked. Bucky wasn’t sure if he was glad his jeans were tight because they keep his erection from swelling fully or upset because the fact that he was turned on was far too obvious.

Steve thanked the crowd and came offstage, his body still tight with tension. Pete practically did pounce on him, slinging his arm over Steve’s shoulders.

“That was fucking amazing,” Pete gushed. “I want to have your music babies.”

“Thanks.” Steve shrugged off his arm. “Sorry. Excuse me.” He didn’t look at either of them, pushing between them and heading to his bus.

Bucky watched him, brow furrowed as he glanced at Pete, then followed Steve. Their set wasn’t for another couple of hours, and Bucky didn’t think Steve being alone was a good idea. The door to the bus was closed, so Bucky knocked, then let himself inside. The front area was empty, so he pushed back the accordion door to the bunks.

He walked down the aisle until he found Steve, who was lying on one of the bunks glaring at the ceiling. “Hey.”

“Go away.”

“Nope.” Bucky put his forearms on Steve’s thin mattress, resting his chin on one. “That was an amazing show.”

“Great. Thanks. Go away.”

“Still no.” He tilted his head slightly. “Boyfriend?”

Steve whipped his head to the side, and he glared at Bucky. “What?”

“You’re pissed about something. You missed a call with your boyfriend, and he was probably upset. Now you’re upset. I’m no mathmagician, but I can add two and two.”

“Wouldn’t it be one and one?”

Bucky bit back a smile, even though Steve’s voice wasn’t particularly amused. “Like I said. Not super strong at math.” He was quiet for a few moments. “So. Boyfriend?”

“Yeah.”

“What’s his name?”

“Aaron.”

“Got a picture?”

“Why?”

Bucky shrugged. “Just curious.” 

Steve exhaled and arched off the bunk, pulling his phone out of his pocket. Bucky swallowed, eyes caught on the sharp jut of Steve’s hipbones above the waistband of his jeans. Steve flopped back down and opened his Sidekick, pulling up a picture.

The guy was good looking in a generic sort of way, nothing that struck Bucky as special. “What’s he do?”

“He works for a law firm. File clerk during the summer. He’s still in law school.”

“Is that where you met? School?”

“What’s with the third degree?”

“I’m a curious guy. I like knowing about people.” He didn’t really, but nothing seemed to apply when it came to Steve. He poked Steve in the side. Steve gave him a dirty look, and Bucky waited for a moment or two before prompting him again. “C’mon. School? Coffee shop meet-cute?”

“He came to one of our shows. Bought me a drink.”

“Huh. Less exciting than I hoped.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Sorry I don’t meet your romantic requirements.”

“Eh. Forgiven.”

“You’re such an asshole.”

“No one I know would disagree with you.” He poked Steve’s side again. “So you guys fought?”

“I guess. He wanted to know what I was doing, who I was with, why I didn’t call.” Steve shrugged. “I told him I hung out with you, got drunk, and passed out.”

“And he was cool with it?”

“Well, I told him I was with you.”

“Is that good or bad.”

Steve closed his eyes and rubbed them with his fingers. “He laughed and asked if I was worried your aggressive heterosexuality was going to rub off on me.”

“He said that?”

“He’s not your biggest fan.”

“Obviously.”

“I told him you were being nice to me.” Steve laughed, not at all amused. “He said it was cute how I’d believe anything a pretty face told me.”

“Ouch.”

“Yeah, well. There’s precedence.”

“You shouldn’t do that, you know. Let other people put you down, put yourself down.”

Steve turned on his side and Bucky shifted back so it was easier to meet his gaze. “Look, I don’t know why you feel like you have to give me a pep talk here. I’m fine.”

“You’re smart, funny, cute, and sexy. You think you’re not, but you’re wrong.”

“Like I said, I don’t fall for straight guys. Maybe you get off on that, but I’m not interested. So don’t bother blowing smoke up my ass. Aaron and I are fine. Happy.”

“He accused you of cheating on him with me, didn’t he? Straight guy or not. Let me guess, he wanted proof you hung out with me, because he figured you were using the aggressive heterosexuality as a cover.”

“Nobody’s gay on Warped.”

“Lots of people aren’t exactly straight.”

“I’m also not interested in being someone’s experiment.”

“So he did.” Bucky nodded. “You were furious on stage tonight. Is that why?”

“Yes, okay? He accused me of cheating on him.”

“and that pissed you off, right?”

“What’s your point?”

“Isn’t being in a relationship about trust? I mean, I’m not, like, an expert on relationships, but…”

“He trusts me just fine.”

Bucky smirked. “People who trust don’t make accusations.”

“And you don’t know what you’re talking about,” Steve snapped. There was a furrow in Steve’s brow and he looked furious. “And I still don’t know why the fuck you’re here.”

“To be honest, right now neither do I.” Bucky turned on his heel and headed out of the bus. He let the door slam behind him, nearly running into Sam on his way out.

“Whoa.” Sam’s hands caught Bucky by the shoulders to keep them from colliding. “Whoa. You okay?”

“Your singer is an asshole.”

“You can’t just be figuring that out now.”

“Apparently I am.” Bucky started to walk away, but Sam tightened his grip on Bucky’s shoulder.

“Look, I know he’s tough. He’s pretty much fought tooth and nail for everything he’s got. He hates thinking people are doing things for him. Charity, or worse, pity.”

“This doesn’t have anything to do with that.” Bucky pointed back to the bus. “His boyfriend’s a dick.”

“Oh. You saw the set.”

Bucky exhaled slowly, some of his anger leaving him. “Yeah.”

“Aaron convinced him that the only reason you’d hang out with him is because you feel sorry for him, or because you’re pulling some sort of prank.”

“Why? Why would I do that?”

“You mean beside the fact that he’s a dick? I don’t know. Look, he’s Steve’s first real relationship. So it’s not all Aaron. Some of it’s Steve. I mean, look, he’ll stand up for anybody but himself. Boy’s self-esteem issues have self-esteem issues. And Aaron plays on that whether he means to or not.”

“That’s not an excuse to be an asshole.”

“I’m not telling you to excuse it.”

Bucky blew out a breath. “I have to go. We’re on soon.” He walked away a few steps, then turned around, walking back to Sam. “That really was an amazing set today.”

“Thanks, man. Gonna go see if I can calm him down. Hope to catch your set though.”

“I’ll pretend you’re gonna be there for me and not my hot bandmates.”

“Whatever your ego needs.” Sam smiled and clapped Bucky on the back. Bucky waved as he walked off. He was calmer, but still angry and annoyed. He took another deep breath and exhaled until his lungs ached.

In the long run, this would be better. Without Steve around, Bucky could have his typical fun without having to worry about anything beyond whether or not he had enough booze, pills, and condoms.

Screw Steve Rogers. Bucky was going to do Warped right.

**

Clint grabbed Bucky as he came off the stage, hugging him tight as he lifted him off the ground. “Now, do that every night and you might end up successful.”

“Put me down or I’ll spit in your hair.”

“Ah, no.” Clint set him back on his feet. “There’s a party over at Saves the Day’s bus. There are Jello shots with Everclear.”

“Yes, but none of us have a death wish.” Natasha came up after stowing her gear. “What d’ya say, Barnes? You coming with?”

“Got nothing better to do. Might as well go slumming.” Natasha’s eyebrow went up sharply and Bucky smiled. “I meant with Clint.”

“Mm.”

“Sam!” Bucky waved, smacking Clint on the ass as he slipped past him. “How’s the diva?”

“Nice.” Sam walked over and glanced around. “Where’s Peggy?”

“Ah.” Bucky grinned. “Is there romance in the air? I should tell you that the most important thing to remember about Peggy is that she can and will kick your ass.”

“Never know.” Clint shrugged and slipped an arm around Natasha, snatching it back when she slapped his forearm. “Maybe Sam likes that.”

“You guys are a regular comedy routine.” Sam rolled his eyes. “Maybe I’m just looking for some cultured company.”

“I don’t know about that, but there are Jello shots.” Clint grabbed Bucky by the back of the shirt and started pulling. “Saves the Day are saving the day. Tell the rest of your lazy-ass band it’s time to live a little.”

Bucky waved, letting Clint tug him along for a while before turning and shrugging off his grip as soon as they were out of sight. “What’d you have to do that for?”

 

“What?”

“Invite them.”

“Because it’s a party? And we like them?” Clint frowned. “Fuck, Barnes. Who’d you get in a fight with?”

“No one.” Bucky shrugged and shoved his hands in his pockets so he wouldn’t cross his arms over his chest defensively. “Why do you always assume it’s me?”

“Because it always is.”

“Fuck you, Barton.”

“No way. I know where you’ve been.” Clint shuddered and dodged out of the way as Bucky tried to ram his shoulder into him. Clint spied someone he knew, or pretended to, and jogged ahead. Bucky rolled his eyes and kept walking at the same pace.

Eventually his band, as well as most of Steve’s, caught up to him, and by the time they made it to the bus, Clint had a whole tray of Jello shots that he brought over.

“I come bearing gifts. Likely hazardous to your health, but delicious.”

Bucky took three and downed them one after the other, ignoring Natasha’s raised eyebrow and Clint’s shout of approval. He tossed the plastic cups in one of the trash cans and headed deeper into the party. He was going to get drunk and high and laid and he wasn’t going to think about Steve.

Fuck Steve Rogers.

Shit. Bad phrasing. Because now Steve and fucking were on his mind.

“Well, Hello, stranger.”

A hand landed on his arm, and Dani was there with a sinful smile on her lips and promise in her eyes.

“You haven’t been around. You ignoring me?”

“Never. In fact, I was just looking for you and a dark corner.”

“Well, you’ve found one. Let’s go find the other.” She took Bucky’s hand and tugged him off toward another cluster of buses. By the time they stopped, Bucky could barely hear the party in the distance and the shots were hitting him.

Dani was wearing leggings, so it was easy to get his hand inside and bring her off. She kissed him hard as she came, then sank down to her knees. She worked Bucky’s jeans open, shoving them down until they were low on his thighs, then pulled his cock free of his boxer briefs. She smirked up at him, then took him in her mouth.

It was hot and wet and, in the low light, her blonde hair reminded him of Steve. He closed his eyes because he knew it was a dick move, but it didn’t stop him from fantasizing about running his fingers through Steve’s hair even though hers was too long. Dani swallowed around him and Bucky rolled his hips forward. She gagged slightly, but started sucking again almost immediately.

“Fuck. Oh, fuck.” Bucky clenched his hands into fists, banging them against the side of the bus. Steve’s mouth. Steve’s hands. Steve swallowing him down. He groaned, unable to keep from breathing Steve’s name.

Dani pulled back with a jerk and snapped. “What?”

Bucky blinked hazily, trying to get his brain back on line, but before he could look down at Dani, his eyes caught on the light from the door of the bus behind her, at the person backlit there. He licked his lips and nodded toward the door. “Steve.”

“Hey, gay guy. You getting off looking at his dick?” She raised her voice even though it was clear Steve heard her first statement. “D’you mind?”

Steve didn’t say anything, just let the door close behind him as he walked down the steps. He headed off in the opposite direction, shoulders slightly hunched. It seemed impossible, seeing him like that, to know how big he came across onstage.

“Really?” Bucky helped her to her feet then did up his jeans. “He just walked out. He wasn’t watching us.”

“Doesn’t matter. You don’t want him looking at your dick. And I don’t want you calling me someone else’s name. Guy or girl.”

“Yeah.” Bucky nodded. “Let’s head back to the party. I could use another shot.” He could also get the fuck away from her.

Dani interlaced their fingers, then fell in step beside him. The party had gotten more crowded and louder, so it was easy for Bucky to manage to get separated from her. He went directly to the makeshift bar and took a cup of some virulent red concoction, downing most of it in a few quick swallows before grabbing another cup and pouring the remains of the first drink into the second.

He went in search of his band, stumbling across Natasha, Clint, and Peggy in the back of someone’s bus with a group of other people playing spin the bottle, because everyone regressed to being twelve-year-olds on Warped.

Natasha looked up at him and frowned. Bucky just shrugged and got off the bus. He finished his drink and tossed the cup before wandering off toward the fence surrounding the bus area. He nearly tripped in the dark, only managing to keep his feet because someone grabbed him.

“Shit.” Bucky laughed. “That would’ve been bad.”

“Think you might be lost. Party’s in the other direction.”

“Oh, shit.” Bucky beamed at Steve. “Steve. Hay. Fuck. Hi.” Steve shrugged and settled against the tree he’d been leaning on. Bucky refused to let it deter him. “One of the roots attacked me.”

“Is that what happened?” Bucky’s eyes had adjusted to the light, so he could see Steve’s arms crossed over his chest. “I’m sorry about earlier. Bad timing. Hopefully I didn’t ruin everything.”

“Oh no. We were totally finished. Always take care of them first. Natasha and Peggy taught me that. Not in the fucking them kind of way though.”

“Not a lesson I have to worry about learning.”

“Yeah. Right. Guys can totally get each other off at the same time. Well, I mean, not if you’re blowing him, you know.”

Steve raised his eyebrow. “Yes. I’m aware.”

“Right. Dude. Because you fuck guys. Guys fuck you. Whatever you’re into. Fuck. I’m so very drunk.”

“I managed to figure that out.”

Bucky swayed forward and Steve grabbed his arm again. Bucky patted Steve on the chest, letting his hand settle there. Steve caught Bucky by the wrist and pushed him back slightly before moving his hand to the small of Bucky’s back. “Let’s get you back to your bus so you can sleep this off.”

Bucky leaned into the pressure of Steve’s hand and let Steve steer him back toward his bus. Turning his head, Bucky rested his forehead against Steve’s temple for a few minutes until walking at the same time left him dizzy. “D’you hate me?”

“What?”

“D’you hate me? You seem to hate me. Last time. Because I think your boyfriend’s a jerk.”

“You don’t even know him.”

“He’s not good enough for you.”

“You don’t even know _me_.”

“Sure I do. You’re Steve.”

Steve shook his head and leaned Bucky against his bus. “You’re drunk. And ridiculous.”

“And cute.”

“If you say so.” 

Bucky pouted. “Mean. You don’t think ‘m cute, Stevie?”

“You’re adorable. But you’re not my type.”

“But I’m a boy.”

Steve let go of the door handle, stiffening for a moment before seeming to relax. “You get into every girl you meet?”

“Most of ‘em.”

“Yeah, well. Just because someone’s a guy doesn’t mean I’m into him.”

Bucky’s pout turned into a frown. “Huh.”

“C’mon. Up the stairs.” He guided Bucky through the door, making him hold onto the rail. He stayed at Bucky’s back so he didn’t tip backward. “You want me to dump you on the couch or in your bunk.”

“Bunk. C’n have a sleepover.”

“I’m skinny, but there’s no way we’re both fitting in there unless we’re on top of each other.”

Bucky waggled his eyebrows, tripped over someone's shoe and landed on his hands and knees. “Fuck.”

“Pretty sure you should stop trying to do anything besides walking.” He helped Bucky to his feet, holding his arms. Bucky looked down at him, breath catching in his throat.

Steve’s gaze caught Bucky’s and he stepped back quickly. Bucky swayed forward, but managed to stay on his feet.

“Which bunk is yours?”

“That one.” He pointed at the accordion door that separated the bunks from the rest of the bus.

“I’m gonna need a little more information than that.”

“Top bunk.”

“Narrowed it by half. We’re really getting somewhere.”

“Dunno. Drink was red. Drinks shouldn’t be that color.”

“Okay.” Steve opened one of the curtains, then shook his head. Bucky leaned on him, watching as his breath stirred Steve’s hair. Steve checked the next bunk and then finally the third in the row. “This one?”

“Okay.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Okay. Up.” He shifted out of the way, moving behind Bucky so he could get into the bunk. Bucky watched him until he would have had to turn around to see him. Steve’s hands rested on Bucky’s hips.

Bucky frowned and laid his head on his mattress. “No.”

“C’mon, Bucky. There’s no way I can get you up there.”

“But it’s hard.”

“Life is. C’mon. Step on the bottom bunk.”

Bucky whined but did as he was told, his chest on his bunk. Steve moved his hands to the back of Bucky’s thighs and shoved upward. It took a couple of tries before Bucky was mostly on the bunk. He leaned over the side, hanging on so he didn’t fall off, and looked at Steve. “I love you.”

“You’re drunk.”

“Don’t doubt my love, Stevie. It is pure and unblemished.”

“Go to sleep.”

“You’re the meanest.” Bucky closed his eyes. “G’night, mean Steve.”

“Night.”

He heard Steve walk away, but when he heard the door he opened his eyes. “Steve?”

Steve’s voice was soft. “Yeah, Bucky?”

“I’m sorry you saw that. Sorry she was a bitch to you.”

“It’s okay. Not your fault. But thanks.”

**

It had been three weeks since Nomad joined the tour, and Bucky refused to count how many times he had jerked off thinking about Steve. They spent more and more time together, their bands practically living in each other’s pockets. Nomad spent more time on Black Widow’s bus than the one they were sharing with Amber Pacific. 

“Steve!” Bucky watched Steve look around for him. Finally he laughed at Steve’s stubborn and annoyed expression. “Up here.”

Steve looked up, lips pursed together. “You’ve fallen off your bunk three times, Barnes. Why do you think it’s a good idea for you to be on top of your bus?”

“I’m the king of the world!”

“You’re the lord of the idiots.”

“Come up here with me.”

“Why would I do that?”

Bucky rested his hands on the edge of the roof and put his chin on them. “Adventure, Steve. Living life to its fullest. Plus, I’ve got beer.”

“You’re using alcoholic beverages to try to get me to climb on top of a bus.”

“Yes. Is it working?”

“How are you still alive?”

“Pretty please?”

“No.” A smile danced at the corner of Steve’s mouth.

“Pretty, pretty, pretty please.”

Steve huffed a dramatic, over-exaggerated sigh. “Fine.”

“Yes!” Bucky drew the word out into a hiss.

Steve ignored him and headed to the ladder at the back of the bus, climbing up to the roof. Bucky was on a blanket, lying on his side, elbow bent and head propped on his fist. Steve was dressed in jeans that were cut off at the knees and a nearly see-through T-shirt.

Bucky tried not to outright stare at him, but it was hard not to. Sharp cheekbones and sharp jawline; hips and collarbones prominent. Bucky bit his lip and did his best to think about his sophomore English teacher who he suspected layered on perfume instead of shower. It was almost not enough, especially when Steve sat, then stretched out on the blanket, sprawling next to Bucky.

Bucky closed his eyes. Perfume, body odor, and Charles Dickens. How was that not a complete boner killer?

“So.” Steve shifted and Bucky opened his eyes. Steve was right there, eyes bright in the sun. “Why are you up here?”

“To get away from everyone.”

“And yet you invited me up here.”

“You’re not everyone.” Bucky reached out without thinking, his finger tracing Steve’s clavicle.

Steve sucked in a breath, but he didn’t pull away. “So. Um.” He grabbed Bucky’s wrist and guided his hand away. “Aaron’s coming out this weekend.”

“Aaron?” It actually took a moment for the name to work past the heat that made Bucky want to push Steve onto the blanket and kiss him. “Aaron. Oh. Right. Your boyfriend. Aaron.”

“Yeah.” Steve didn’t look at Bucky. “He’s going to be here Friday through Sunday. So. I mean. I won’t be around really. He’s getting a hotel.”

“Wow. Going all out, huh?”

“It’s just been a while since we’ve seen each other.”

“No. I mean, yeah. Of course. That’s good. You know. Romance.”

“He wants to meet you.”

“He does?” Bucky blanched, then cleared his throat, raising both eyebrows when Steve looked up at him. “Really?”

“Yeah. Of course. He wants to meet all my friends.”

“Is he going to accuse you of sleeping with all of them too?”

“He doesn’t really think that I’m fucking around on him.”

“Really? Because your nightly phone calls sure make it seem like he does.”

Steve sighed. “I don’t want to fight with you about this. I want you guys to meet. I think you’ll like each other if you try.”

Bucky blew out a breath. “Fine. I’ll be nice.”

“Thank you.” Steve rolled to lie on his back, eyes closed against the sun. Bucky kept watching him. They really had become friends, and Bucky _liked_ Steve.

Beyond wanting him.

But, fuck, he wanted him.

“Is he coming to your sets?”

“Oh, yeah. He’ll be here the whole time except at night. I mean, when we’re at the hotel.”

“Bet he’s missed you.” Bucky pressed two fingers to the inside of Steve’s wrist, feeling the beat of his pulse.

“Buck.” Steve’s voice was soft. They’ve touched more lately. They’re all casual, but every one makes Bucky’s skin tingle, brings a flush to Steve’s cheeks.

Bucky moved his fingers in a slow sweep, then curled them around so his palm settled on Steve’s pulse instead, so he can feel it quickening. He didn’t stop the sweep of his thumb over Steve’s wrist bone. “Sorry.”

“Please don’t. We’re friends.”

“We are.” 

“I don’t… I won’t…” He pulled his hand away, out of Bucky’s reach. “Please don’t, okay?”

“Yeah.” Bucky rolled onto his back so he couldn’t see Steve’s face, so he didn’t have to see rejection. “So. Aaron. Friday.”

“Yeah.” Steve’s voice was soft enough that Bucky wasn’t sure if there was pity in it or not. 

“Can’t wait.”

**

Bucky hated Aaron on sight. Of course, the first time he saw him was when he walked onto Nomad’s bus to find Steve. Aaron was on the couch and Steve was in his lap. Bucky stilled, watching them kiss.

Aaron’s hands were on Steve’s hips, his thumbs beneath Steve’s T-shirt. Bucky was torn between wanting to punch Aaron and wanting to be him.

He cleared his throat and Aaron pulled back slowly, frowning at Bucky. “Who are you?”

Steve turned toward Bucky, and his lips were wet, swollen, and pink. His eyes were hazy, his face flushed. Steve licked his lips. “Hey, Buck. Aaron, this is Bucky.”

“Hey.” Bucky’s voice was rough. Steve’s pupils were dilated, and Bucky could barely see the blue. He was fairly sure he was going to have to jerk off soon or he was going to come in his jeans. Steve looked even better than Bucky had fantasized.

“Ah. The infamous Bucky Barnes.”

Bucky forced his gaze from Steve to Aaron. “The infamously jealous Aaron, I presume.”

“Buck,” Steve warned as he slid off Aaron’s lap. Bucky’s eyes dropped down, then up quickly, far too tempted to palm the hard bulge in Steve’s jeans.

“Sorry.” Bucky wasn’t sorry in the least, and Steve’s unimpressed look made it obvious he didn’t believe him. 

Aaron stood, and his glance at Bucky’s crotch let Bucky know the bulge in _his_ jeans didn’t go unnoticed. Aaron slid his arm possessively around Steve’s waist. “No problem. Nice to finally meet you.”

Steve sighed Aaron’s name, clearly believing him about as much as he had Bucky.

“So. When did you get in?”

“Earlier. And, as you saw, we were busy. Was there something you needed?”

“Not from you,” Bucky managed not to clench his teeth, though it took restraint.

“Well, Steve’s indisposed, so --”

“Steve’s right here,” Steve reminded them both, stepping away from Aaron slightly. “What’d you need?”

“Nothing. I mean, it’ll wait till later. Don’t want to ruin the mood.”

“Too late,” Aaron muttered. Steve cut him a dirty look and Aaron pasted on a fake smile he turned in Bucky’s direction. “We’ll catch up with you later. Before we head back to our hotel.”

“Great.” Bucky’s smile was tight and stiff. Steve reached out and caught Bucky’s wrist, squeezing lightly.

“Later, okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah.” He smiled for real. “Later.”

Bucky left Steve’s bus and hurried to his own. It was empty, and he climbed into his bunk immediately. Even Aaron couldn’t blot out the sight of Steve –his eyes and lips and cock, and the hard tips of his nipples pressed against his shirt.

Bucky bit his forearm hard as he stroked himself, hoping the pain would keep him from losing control too quickly, and to keep him from moaning Steve’s name. Afterward, he lay there, staring at the roof of his bunk. He was still sticky and slick with sweat, and he wanted the weekend to be over so he didn’t have to share him anymore.

**

Aaron was fucking everywhere. With Steve’s band. With Steve at the parties. With _Bukcy’s_ band. And he was always touching Steve. The only time his hands weren’t on Steve was when Steve was onstage.

Bucky finally got a moment alone with Steve Saturday afternoon about an hour before Nomad’s set. He didn’t know where Aaron was, and he didn’t care. He came up behind Steve and grabbed his wrist.

Steve turned, surprised at first and then smiling widely at Bucky. “Hey. Hi. Where’ve you been?”

“Around. Just figured it would be better to stay away. Your boyfriend doesn’t seem to like me very much.”

“That’s not true.”

“It is, and the feelings pretty mutual.” He tilted his head toward a quiet area away from the stage. “Come over here?”

Steve followed Bucky to a secluded spot between two buses. Looking up at Bucky, Steve licked his lips. “Yeah?”

Bucky’s thumb found Steve’s pulse point again and he ran over it in slow circles. Steve’s eyes closed for a moment, his lips parted. Bucky was about five seconds from being in trouble. His voice was deeper than normal when he spoke. “You guys are going to sing _All Day_ tonight, right?”

“Yeah. People seem to like that one.”

“What if I sang part of it with you? And you could come on during our set. Maybe for _Civil War_.”

“Really?” Steve’s smile lit up the dim area, wide and bright.

Bucky nodded, unable to look away. “What do you think? We don’t have exactly the same audience, so it could help us both. Could make it a thing if it goes over well.”

“That would be amazing. A huge boost for us. I mean, I don’t think we’re going to bring anything to you guys, but for us? Wow.”

Bucky slid his hand up Steve’s arm to his elbow, squeezing it before he slid it back to Steve’s hand, the nail of his thumb against the skin on the inside of Steve’s forearm. Steve huffed out a shaky breath. “You want to try it today?”

“Don’t you need time to learn the song?”

“Nah.” Bucky grinned. “Already know it.”

“You do?”

He shrugged and leaned in, head tilted so he could murmur in Steve’s ear. “Do you want to?”

Steve shivered, then nodded. “Yeah.”

Bucky bowed his head slightly, his mouth close to Steve’s jaw. Steve swallowed hard, then stepped away, out of Bucky’s grasp. Bucky could see the goosebumps on Steve’s skin. 

Clearing his throat, Steve took another step back. “Okay. So. I’ll…” He swallowed hard again. “I should go find… Um. Aaron.”

“Right. Right.” Bucky stepped back as well to put more distance between them. “So just let me know what song is before it, and I’ll be ready.”

“Okay.” Steve smiled and it hit Bucky low in the stomach. “Thanks. Really.”

Bucky watched him walk off then banged his head on the side of the bus, not caring if he disturbed someone inside. “Fuck.”

**

Singing with Steve was like sex. It was hot and close and Steve threaded Bucky’s mic cord in his fingers and around his neck as he shared Bucky’s mic. Bucky wrapped his arm around Steve’s waist, hand on his hip as they hit the last part of the song. Steve was pressed tight against him, and the audience was going crazy.

When the song ended, Steve’s smile lit up brighter than the stage lights when he looked from the audience to Bucky. Bucky’s chest ached and he didn’t think he’d ever wanted to kiss anyone this much.

“Bucky Barnes from Widow’s Bite!” Steve gestured at Bucky, and the crowd went wild again. Bucky waved and went offstage, tempted to pour the bottle of water one of the roadies gave him over his head so he could cool the fuck down.

He used the hem of his shirt to wipe the sweat off his face even though it was almost as soaked. When he let it go, Natasha was standing right in front of him. Close. Dangerously close.

“We need to talk.”

“Why?”

She tilted her head to the side and Bucky saw Aaron, red-faced and furious. He kept clenching and unclenching his hands, and he was glaring at Bucky through narrowed eyes. Bucky looked back at her. “Plus I think there’s something you need to tell me.”

She took his hand, giving the illusion that they were walking off together rather than the fact that she wasdragging him along. She took him all the way back to the bus and shoved him down on one of the couches, settling on the one opposite him.

“Since when?”

“That covers a whole lot of territory.”

“Fine,” She snapped. “How long have you been into guys?”

He didn’t look away. “First realized what it was about two years ago. Johnny Storm.”

She snorted as Bucky shrugged. “Figures. So that answers how long you’ve been keeping this from me.”

“It wasn’t about you. I’ve been pretending it wasn’t true for two years.”

“But now Steve.”

Bucky sighed and sunk lower in his seat. “We’re friends.”

“What you guys did up there on stage? That was _not_ friends. That was the two of you fucking via music.”

Having it confirmed that what it felt like was what it looked like just seemed like too much, and Bucky buried his head in his hands. “Fuck, Nat. Fuck.”

“Does he know?”

“I don’t think I’ve been subtle.”

“You don’t even know how to spell subtle.” She reached out and ruffled his hair. “But he’s involved.”

 

“Yeah. I’m _well_ aware.” He rubbed his forehead with the heel of his hand. “But Aaron’s a complete and utter asshole.”

“That might be your jealousy talking.”

“He treats Steve like shit.”

“No. He doesn’t.” Natasha sighed. “He’s nervous. He knows what touring is like. Away from home. Fans. Lots of temptation.”

“He accuses Steve of cheating on him if Steve doesn’t call him on schedule.”

“James… Bucky. Maybe Steve _likes_ having that schedule. Maybe he likes that Aaron worries.”

“Why are you on his side?” Bucky asked quietly. It felt like a betrayal.

“I’m not on anyone’s side. But Steve’s in a relationship and you need to respect that.”

“He likes it. Me.”

“Maybe he likes the attention. Maybe that’s what he likes.”

“Right.” Bucky exhaled, but it didn’t help the tightness in his chest. “You’re probably right. Yeah. Sorry. I’ll apologize to Aaron or whatever you think. Message received.”

“Don’t,” she said softly, barely above a whisper.

“Don’t what? Like him? Too late. Want him? Too fucking late. That shit doesn’t matter right? No one cares about my shit. You want me to be a fucking adult. Right? Got it.”

“James.”

“Are we done?” Bucky got up. “Good. Good talk. You set me straight.” He laughed. “Too bad you can’t actually do that.”

She called after him, but he ignored her, climbing out of the bus and then onto the roof. He watched her walk away, saw Clint join her. He wrapped his arm around Natasha’s shoulder and they headed back to the stage.

Bucky stayed on the roof until it started to get dark, then moved down the ladder and headed over to the stages as well. His band wa already there, and he took his guitar from Dum Dum. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” Dum Dum’s usual smile was subdued so it was clear that, even if they didn’t know before, his entire band knew now, probably via Natasha or Clint. 

“He won’t be here,” Peggy said softly, and Bucky realized he had been scanning the area for Steve. “He and Aaron left after his set.”

“Didn’t expect him.” He focused on his guitar, tuning it. The thought that Aaron took Steve to the hotel, that all the energy and tension he and Steve had generated was going to Aaron, was fueling him as he fucked Steve made Bucky sick to his stomach.

The fact that he blew off Bucky and Widow’s Bite hurt, made him angry. Made him feel used.

Bucky scratched Civil War from the set list, but even with that and his anger, it was still their worst set all tour. The band gathered offstage afterward and Bucky just held up a hand.

“I know. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.” He took his guitar with him back to the bus, glad nobody followed him.

**

He didn’t see Steve all of Sunday, and Monday was a travel day. Bucky spent it holed up in his bunk. His notebook was open, lines scratched out over and over. There was a song at the edge of his consciousness, but he couldn’t quite reach it.

They stopped for gas, and Bucky went in to stock up on sugar. He came back out with a bag of candy and two Mountain Dews. He pulled back the curtain on his bunk and froze. “Steve.”

“Hi.” He played with the leather bracelet on his wrist. “Do you want me to leave?”

“Just curious why you’re here.” He kept his voice cool, proud of how level it sounded.

“I owe you an apology.”

“You don’t owe me anything.”

“That’s not true. I said I’d perform with you, and I left without doing that, and then I didn’t see you at all on Sunday.”

“It’s fine.”

“It’s really not. I don’t like not keeping my word.”

“Right. Okay, well. Apology accepted. But I’m trying to write, so maybe you could go hang out in the lounge with everyone else.” It wasn’t a question. Not even a suggestion. 

“Oh, yeah. Of course.” He slid off the bunk, and Bucky made himself look away as Steve’s shirt caught on the edge and slid up his torso. Steve got to his feet and straightened his shirt. “I’m really sorry, Bucky.”

“Already forgotten.” Bucky climbed into his bunk and closed the curtain. It was quiet for a few long minutes before he heard Steve walk away. Bucky ground his teeth together and grabbed his notebook. He scratched out each of the lines he’d written again, then threw it down to the end of the bed.

“Fuck!”

He grabbed his pillow and pulled it over his head. He fought the urge to throw a tantrum, though it was an embarrassingly close call. After a few moments, he sat up and grabbed his notebook again and stared at the lined page. Nothing came to mind – no words, no melodies. Closing his eyes, he gave into the urge pulsing through him and thought about Steve in his bed, his shirt sliding up.

He exhaled shakily, then made himself take a deep breath and hold it before opening his notebook again.

**

Bucky headed to one of the merch tents to sign autographs and take pictures. He ran into Sam, even though he’d been doing everything he could to avoid everyone from Nomad. Sam fell in step with him and glanced over. 

“So you’re avoiding all of us?”

“I’m not avoiding anyone.”

“No? When’s the last time you hung out with Steve? Because you guys were joined at the hip for a while there.”

“Pretty sure the only person whose hips he should be around are Aaron’s.”

“Well, he thought you guys were friends.”

“We are.”

“He doesn’t think you are, not anymore. In fact, he’s pretty sure you hate him and want nothing to do with him.”

“His boyfriend hated me on sight and didn’t want me anywhere near Steve. I’m just trying to do the right thing.”

“Okay, man.” Sam shrugged. “See you around.” He headed off, pulling out his phone. 

Bucky sighed and wove through the people to get to the tent. He sat at the end of the line, letting the rest of the band do the bulk of the talking. He smiled and signed, taking pictures with fans. They were almost at the end of their allotted time when two girls each thrust out 8x10 pictures of him and Steve on stage together. Bucky was behind Steve, arms wrapped around him, leaning over his shoulder to share the mic.

Suddenly Aaron’s furious expression made a little more sense.

“Could you sign these? Are you guys going to sing together again? It was _so_ hot.”

“You were there?” He couldn’t stop staring at the picture. 

“No, but it’s all over the internet. Like people are totally shipping you two together. There’s already fanfic.”

“Stacey! Don’t tell him about that!”

“Don’t… Anyone who knows Pete knows _all_ about fanfic.” Bucky kept staring at the picture until Dum Dum jabbed him in the side.

“You’re holding up the line.”

“Shit. Sorry.”

“You are, right?” One of the girls asked. “Maybe tonight? I’d probably die if you did. Like, if he sang during your set. I mean.” She made a high-pitched squealing sound.

“Uh.” He scrawled his signature off to the side of the two of them, then signed the other picture. “We haven’t talked about it.”

“You totally should. Oh my god.”

“Yeah. Well. Uh. Maybe I’ll check with Steve.”

They both squealed this time before Clint guided them out. Bucky didn’t remember any of the people after, but as soon as Clint said they were done, he slipped out of the tent and headed over to their bus, climbing on the roof.

He texted Steve before he could think better of it, asking him to come over to his bus. He didn’t get a response, and he lay back, staring up at the sky. Nearly a half hour later he heard someone on the ladder.

“Don’t worry, Nat. I’ll be there for the set.”

“It’s not Nat.”

Bucky’s eyes snapped open and he sat up to stare at Steve. His blond hair was haloed by the sun, and his face was in shadow. “I didn’t think you were coming.”

“I wasn’t sure I was.” Steve sat on the bus roof cross-legged. “What did you want to see me about?”

“I wanted to apologize. To you. And to Aaron.”

“Aaron?”

Bucky sat up and faced Steve, crossing his legs as well. “I don’t know if you’ve seen the pictures of us that are out there.”

“Yeah. I’ve signed a few.”

“Well, you’ve seen then. How out of line I was. I went too far. I don’t blame him for hating me.”

“It was just a performance.” Steve’s voice sounded off. Stilted.

“Not.” Bucky swallowed hard, took a couple of deep breaths, then managed to shake his head. “Not... not for me.”

Steve’s brow furrowed and he looked down at his hands. “That’s not funny.”

“No. It’s not. It’s not meant to be. It’s… To be honest? It’s fucking terrifying, because I’ve never done this or even felt like this. But I do. About you. And you’re involved and I have no idea what comes next. What I’m supposed to do. But I hate that whatever it is, it fucked up our friendship because, shit, that matters so much more to me. But I was too pissy and bitchy and jealous and --”

“I’m not. Anymore.” Steve looked at his hands and then back up at Bucky. “Involved.”

“-- you deserve…” Bucky stopped abruptly as soon as Steve’s words penetrated. “What?”

“Aaron and I split up.”

“Oh. Oh, shit. Did I do that?”

“Think that highly of yourself, do you?” Steve gave him a tiny smile. “But no. I mean, you might have been part of it. But he admitted me being gone so much was hard on him, and that made it hard on the relationship. And given that we’re getting more notice, it’s only going to get worse.” Steve chewed on his thumbnail for a moment before letting his hand fall and looking at Bucky. “I admitted that it felt like he didn’t trust me. So we both decided that it was probably for the best. For now.”

“Wow. I… wow. I’m sorry? I mean, no. Not a question. I’m sorry.”

Steve shrugged one shoulder. “It was a mutual decision. Neither of us really realized what it would be like.” 

“Still.”

“It’s okay.” Steve gave him a slight smile. “I think maybe we both knew that’s where we were headed even before the tour started.”

“Doesn’t make it suck any less.”

“No. You’re right. It doesn’t.”

“And I know it’s a dick thing to be selfishly glad that you’re single, but it’s been established for a long time that I’m a dick.” He huffed a self-deprecating laugh. “But I am sorry for any part I might have played in it.”

“Thanks.” They were quiet for a while. They stretched out on the blanket, Steve’s head by Bucky’s feet. “So.” Bucky could hear the amusement in Steve’s voice. “You’ve got a thing for me, huh?”

“I don’t know. Probably not if you’re going to be an asshole about it.”

Steve shifted and rested his head on Bucky’s shin. “I didn’t know you were into guys. What with the whole aggressively heterosexual thing.”

“I didn’t really know either until I got an absolutely filthy blow job from a guy two years ago. And since them I’ve been pretending it never happened, because I don’t think I was ready to realize what it meant. And when I couldn’t pretend anymore, I just told myself that any warm mouth would do it. Didn’t matter if it was a guy or a girl. And then I met you. Even before I got to know you, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. Wanting you.” Bucky raised up on his elbows so he could see Steve’s face. “And then I got to know you. And it got worse.”

Steve’s fingers rubbed Bucky’s kneecap. “Aaron and I were together for two years. I don’t want, and I’m surely not ready, to start something new with anyone.”

“Okay. I get that. I mean, I understand. But… Can you tell me if you even feel the same? Similar?”

“You mean have I spent a large portion of the tour thinking about you, and an embarrassingly huge chunk of time jerking off thinking about you?” Steve buried his face against Bucky’s shin. “Yes.”

“You maybe want to sing with me during our set tonight?”

Steve squeezed Bucky’s kneecap this time. “Sure.”

“Okay. Well.” Bucky nodded. “That’s a start.”

Steve turned his head again and pressed a kiss to Bucky’s shin. “Yeah. A pretty good one, I think.”


End file.
